So i have been doing alot......ALOT.......let me say it again ALOT of soul searching. I am far from perfect. THis i know. I tend to form opinions based on several different things (not just whims FYI) & once my mind is made up i am IMPOSSIBLE to convince otherwise. Well i was, till today! I wrote about the marriage liscence a little bit ago. I researched it exstensively, through blogs, articles, legal advice & leaders in churches (not just mine). Some said i was right in my quest to marry without one, while others said i was wrong & needed to procure one. I wrestled & wrestled with it. My convictions were based on sound principles & reasoning that a liscence was orignally created for something that was otherwise ILLEGAL. WHAT?!! Since when is marriage illegal?! & if it was, is that not against God's law?! He is the one that instituted the whole thing! Then i learned that it was 1st issued to slaves or "negro's" wanting to marry!!! That is racism in its finest & i am UTTERLY APPALLED at the fact somewher in our history we acted as though human beings were less than that. THat we treated them as property & gave them no basic right. I am glad i din't live then because undoubtly i would have been an integral part of the underground railroad & probably imprisoned or hanged! However thats my ADD kickin in so back on subject. These were great reasons not to get one, but here came the bomb. The wording in the liscence is that Husband & Wife are entering into a contract marriage not only with each other but the state. Um.......3 parties for 1 marriage.......= polygamy right? Well that cinched it. I was gonna make sure that i didn't obtain a liscence. Furthermore there were basic wordings in there that say the state has the right to any fruits of the union. Property, money, CHILDREN!!!!! My Mom instincts revved up on high alert & i was amazed at how NO ONE i knew could tell me they knew this! People sign these everyday & yet have NO IDEA what they are signing. So there it was. My decision. NO MARRIAGE LISCENCE. I shared my findings with my parents, my Fiancee' & my church leaders. My parents saw the logic, my Fiancee' said he understood (maybe he just didnt want to argue) & my church leaders basically said well......you're wrong. I spent alot of time reading & researching what OTHER people thought, felt, or prayed on but yet never ASKED GOD. The most important person to ask in EVERYTHING. My church leader said he didnt feel right marrying us without one. My Fiancee' argued saying if the church leader said it we gotta do it. I argued back how can you say that when YOU haven't researched it to form your own opinion?!! All you are doing is listening to someone elses opinions over me!!!! I prayed & asked God for His peace, for me to find understanding & direction. I again researched & looked up Biblical verses on marriage & authority as well as laws. Here is the culmination of my findings. Romans 13:1-3 says, "Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you." The last question screamed out at me. YES i thought, thats the problem i am afraid of the government & what they will do if i obtain this liscence! God says though if i do what is right, (aka lawful/legal) then i can live without fear. I still had mixed feelings about it though. I couldn't shake my opinion that i didn't FEEL good about it. Then i read this statement from the writer of the blog "There is no magic pill that can make you feel good about having to submit to authority—any authority. But know when you make the conscious effort to do what God says, regardless of how it feels, you are planting a wonderful seed that will produce a harvest in your life.
You can't expect a harvest of blessings from people who will respect and honor you, if you haven't first planted the seeds. So as hard as it is, start planting!" WOW!!!! How did this person know to write that just for me? I'm sure he didn't but God used it as a way to open my eyes just a little more. I continued my search & read this Eph. 5:23-32
"For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Savior. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything." Even though Steve is not yet my husband, he is making the decision that he wants to be. So i have to take into account what he thinks & his decisions. If i want to be a Godly wife, does that start now or later? Well i can't be Godly if i don't submit to authority. The Bible is VERY clear on that."Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. (NIV)"
I guess what i owe is one marriage liscence. I am counting on the fact of one simple verse to protect me & my family. Romans 8:31 "What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?" I want deep down to follow God's path. I make many many mistakes but this is one thing i don't wanna mess up. I want God to bless our marriage & i want us to be a stronger unit together than alone. If it takes me doing something i don't feel good about to do so then i am willing to follow my Church leaders advice & Steve's wishes on this matter. God tells us to follow those in authority over us & i feel that as part of the head of the church my leader is in a God ordained position of authority over my marriage. His thought are the State required a liscence as a legal represention of our marriage. He wouldn't preform our ceremony without one. Therefore i have to (well i dont HAVE TO but to follow God's will i must CHOOSE to)follow the State's law, My leaders advice & submit reguardless of my personal opinion. How many times does God ask us to do things we don't personally think are good? Alot. God DOES promise us though that if we are faithful & follow His ways He will take care of us. I have learned that even in my obstinate ways He loves me unconditionally & He never gives up trying to show us His love. Thank you God for shaping me & molding me. THank you for the gentle reminder that YOU are in control, not me, not Steve, not the church & not the state. YOU have final authority over it all. All i have to do is listen & follow you. I love you God. Please forgive my ignorance, my stubborness, & sometimes my ability to follow my feelings instead of youe Word. Please keep directing my feet so i can draw closer to you In Jesu's name i pray Amen.
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