Friends

It Has been a little while since i have posted on here. I have been busy, way way way busy! Since school started and i have 3 kids not just 2 any more, i have a jam packed schedule! Especially with football! I wanted to talk about friends today. In recent years i have lost quite a few. I consider myself to be a great  friend, so i never quite understood what it was that caused these friendships to fade over time. I am loving, loyal, i go the extra mile, i make time, put others 1st & if i can help you i will. All these things are what i look for in a friend, but i usually can't find quite the same devotion to the friendship as i have. As the years go by i am learning that my expectations will never quite be met, except by one.God. He has never left me, never hurt me, never given me a reason to feel abandoned. I look into the myriad of friendships & i see one consistent. They all eventually hurt me, & when i say hurt, hurt badly. It could be the words they say, the actions they do,things they stole, whatever. I also see that never once in any of these friendships was God relevant. I am learning God has a lot to say about friendships in the Bible. Job 16:20 (KJV)My friends scorn me: but mine eye poureth out tears unto God. This is how i feel about recent events over the past few months. I know in my heart that i have done nothing to deserve the treatment i have been given, but i have been selfishly trying to ask God to remove the hurt. Instead i need to remember, Jesus never asked to be betrayed by his disciples, hurt by his friends, crucified on the cross. He only prayed "father forgive them, they know not what they do". Moving forward past this is hard for me. When i trust people fully, i want explanations, reasons & a chance to right the wrong. It is hard for me to leave things alone & go on my way, when i don't understand it. God has gently reminded me that i don't have to. That there are reasons they are not my friends any longer. Maybe our friendship was based on something that was not in God's plan to have in my life any longer. I have to bring it to God, leave it in His care & walk away knowing that what i don't know, He surely does. I am so grateful He gave me my husband & that He is always there as well. Without God & my husband, i wouldn't be where i am today. Thank you Heavenly Father for the love you have poured out into my life. Thank you for how much you gave for me & those who have hurt me. Help me to leave this hurt, this burden in your care, & remember i can cast ALL my cares on you. Bring those into my life that i NEED, not the ones that i want. Teach me to be a better friend than what i am & help me to learn how to stop having expectations & in the process being let down. I love you Lord  thank you for sending your Son to die for me & my many sins. Help me to become who YOU want me to be & not what i think i should be. In Jesus's name Amen.